August 8, 2015

mr and mrs dick

by badmammy

mr dick
this morning, Saturday, August 8th, 2015, mr dick came in with the worst looking beat up box I have ever seen. he wanted to know what I was going to do about it. he had a prepaid label. I thought he was joking, he never took off his sunglasses. he told me that now that he had gotten older he is excellent at reading people & that I looked like I didn’t want to help him. I said you are not reading me correctly. he said oh yes he was. he told me that his 65 lb piece of shit box was not handled correctly & what was I gonna do about it. I finally said it was not packed correctly, he should have contacted the sender to have an inspection initiated, he said he did call them, they told him it was packed well & the problem was that it was handled badly. I said that large pieces of metal (hitches) loose in a box is not well packed and will ruin the box from the inside out. he had a prepaid label & I told him that I’d be glad to put the label on the box & ship it but the box will not make it. he started in again about how I had no sense of customer service & didn’t want to help him. I said he should go somewhere else. he said he wanted a solution. I said buy another box & I will pack this box in it, that’s all I know to suggest. “oh, so now you expect me to buy a box?” I said I’m not going to give you one and again suggested he go somewhere else. 

about this time several customers came it, one asked me what was going on. mr dick proceeded to tell her that I had no customer service skills & was not helping him. she thought he was joking too & asked me if I knew him. I said I did not. she told him he he’s got to be kidding, I was one of the nicest women he would ever meet. he doubted it. I said I’ve got customers backing up that I need to help, he hollered he was a customer..I said what do you want. he said a solution. I said buy another box & I’ll pack it for you. one customer left. he said how would he know if I did it or not. I said if you want to stay around and watch me pack it, he was welcome to but it would be awhile cuz I had other customers. he said some other rude loud shit that I don’t really remember. I rang up the box & told him the total. he swiped his card & left, saying now your day can only get better. I thought no shit but said nothing. the two remaining customers said oh my god what an asshole. I can’t believe you didn’t lose your temper, I would have cussed him out, etc. I tried to shake it off, consoling myself it will be ok. I packed his pos into another box with peanuts & heavy stickers the way it should have been.
about 30 minutes mrs dick called wanting my manager or the owner, I said not here. how can I get ahold of her? call when she’s here, prob Mon afternoon, she’s in & out. what’s her email? store3554. . . . . . . , is that an email anyone there can read? yes. I want her private email. I’m not givin out her private info, you might as well send that email here cuz everyone’s gonna read it anyway. I AM NOT GOING TO DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU. I said, (ok, I went to the dark side at this point) whatever. she said she wanted to know why I was so rude to her husband. I said you weren’t here, maybe he was rude to me. she said oh no, not my husband. I said I will be glad to take your number & have her call you. so she gave me the number & I hung up. a few minutes she called back to say she didn’t appreciate being hung up on, I said I was sorry. I’ll have kim call you. bye. and hung up again.
twenty seven minutes later mrs dick called back. she wanted to know I expected them to be reimbursed if I wouldnt give them a receipt . I said its right here, he left without it. pause. can you just email it to me. sure, what’s the email address, she told me, I said, ok. bye. hung up.
I emailed the receipt.
I believe those two are perfect for each other and aptly named,


April 6, 2014

my hair went electric

by badmammy


January 8, 2012

us, unplugged

by badmammy

Since I’ve hauled off & announced the event on fb, it must be official . . . . . BigDaddy & I have decided to cancel our cable tv. I am so addicted to my tv that I get a little woozy just typing those words. All the more reason I will do this, must do this. I’m doin awright so far, but it is still on for awhile so we shall see. I have a feeling that we are all bombarded with so much information all day from so many angles that I won’t feel too deprived & besides, we’ll still get the “regular” channels. I’ll still get to discuss American Idol or DWTS with the customers.

December 18, 2011

they call it stormy monday but tuesdays just as bad

by badmammy

Another of the never ending series of events that have happened to me under the “Everything I’ve Ever Mocked, I’ve Become.” category.

The garage door decided to become unwound in some cable snappin kind of way last Friday evening. You know, when you can’t do anything about it without paying someone their “emergency” rate. The time & day of repair people live for. Ka-ching. Well, that really isn’t an option, so called, left msg, resigned self to parking on the street for a few nights. I decided to be thankful no one was hurt & that my car wasn’t trapped inside.

My car has never slept outside like that. Not very often, anyway. Every time I wanted to hop in my car & go somewhere, I’ve done it, scoffing at the poor fools driving frosted cars. Cars covered in show and ice. Even when my car wouldn’t start in the morning cuz the battery was shot & it is colder than heck outside, my car was not frosted. It was in the garage.

Back in the day, when I only had a carport, I had done the start your car, let it run with the defroster on high thing. This method worked for me for years. By the time I finished doin my hair, the frozen windshield  could be easily cleared by a couple o swipes o the wipers. I do not recommend this method anymore cuz now days if you blink your eyes while your car is runnin without you in it, that thing is GONE.

Anyway, call was returned & garage door man would be able to come look at it in four days. Sigh . . that long? Will you call if he can get here sooner? Sure, sure. Bye, bye.

OK, I think, a few more frosty car days won’t hurt. The main big drag, really,is that I have to park facing west, so only the front window is iced up. If the neighborhood nazzies hadn’t sent me a letter about me & mine for parking in the “wrong” direction so many times, I’d just turn the car around, facing east & the sun. The rear window has a really good defroster but not the front. Besides, we live on a corner & when you swing into our hood you are in front o the house, lookin east, the wrong way. It’s so easy. So much better than going down the street, makin a loop & coming back. The car still takes up the same amount of space, I say,no matter which way it faces. They say it will get hit. I point out the car didn’t get any wider either & why are they driving in the gutter anyway. Of course, we still do it, as does our neighbor, but not over night. I don’t want to hear it.

Anyway, I wound up, in the grueling light of dawn, early, scraping ice off of my windows with a Costco card, while the defroster blasted from the inside. I knew, in that moment, that, once again, I had become what I mocked. I had one of those little awakening moments.

After getting a little patch of clear window directly above the blowers big enoug to see through, I turned the car around & scraped my window some more. I knew it served me right. What was I crying about? Flashback to Dad’s voice sayin he’d give me something to cry about.

I have a lot in my life. I know this. I have so many people I hold dear. I try to keep in mind how grateful I am for all I am blessed with. It is far from a done deal, but I keep assuming an attitute of gratitude in the hopes that it will abide within & without me.

On my way to work that morning, late, during the busiest time of the year, knowin what was gonna happen the moment I unlocked that back door & went in. Ka-Boom. Then I saw a guy waiting for a bus, in the cold wind, with a tire

With a tire! I’ve got a whole car. I took this as a sign that one does not have to look far to see something to remind your of how much you do have.

April 24, 2011

jesus take the wheel

by badmammy

I was sitting in line at the drive thru bank, lookin around & groovin on the sunny day. Across the parking lot I spy two people walking, carrying signs & the guy was dragging a great big cross. Ok, it was Good Friday & there is always lots of walking folks on pilgrimage, large & small, in this part of the country but not usually in this part of town & they were headed west, not north. They were whipping right along, maintaining a good pace & I couldn’t make out the signs. Further investigation was called for.

I finished up my depo & cruised the parking lot, on the look out. I ease out into traffic, not yet sure which direction I need to go . . . . there they are! How did they get so far? dang. I cruise up behind them, slow, & they turn to wave their signs at me & I wave back a peace sign. “Jesus loves you”, one of my all time faves, & there is writing all over the cross that I can’t make out. My eyes travel down the cross toward the ground, wishing they would slow down so I could read it, dang it, where is the camera when I need it & then I see it. A wheel!

The secret to their seeming ease of carrying the cross; a stoke of genius! A wheel, bright & shiny, new. The faithful had just left Lowes & were hurrying to the highway. Why didn’t Jesus think of that?

February 3, 2011

i don’t give a rats ass about charlie sheen

by badmammy

Snow bound & cranky. I actually begged for candy from the store. That is the crisis of my little world. I’m listening to the world news on the telly. The crisis of the world is some little fight in Egypt & Charlie Sheen’s fucked up excuses about his serious little life. Can’t we see that all the poor dude wants is to be left alone to self destruct & kill himself? His Errol Flynn references in his latest press release in this never ending hell bound train wreck clearly let us know he wishes to emulate this hero & go out with a bang. This world is too painful & tortured to live in for the highest paid actor on television.

jeez, cut a junkie some slack, badmammy . . . . sure, maybe what pisses me off is that his “lifestyle” has been enabled & endorsed by everyone around him & as long as he showed up for work, it was all good.

And the joke of the home schooled rehab is a real pisser. Believe me, I know that this idea only works if you want it & then it don’t matter where you are.

Meanwhile, I’ve let the whole thing put me in a crabby chocolate jonesin cliche ridden mood.

This is the life I love.

November 25, 2010


by badmammy

A couple of calm, nice, busy days at work & 24 hrs in the bed, tossin, coughin & moanin, later, I am reborn.

November 21, 2010

just 24 little hours

by badmammy

What a difference a day makes. . . . . I had asked myself a lot of questions & realized I needed to make peace with the insanity of my job or quit. I went in on Saturday to get some extra practice & schoolin before THE RUSH begins on Black Friday. Saturday was the Postal Mgr’s day off & I could work with M, who happens to be very good at teaching. I knew it would be easier there for me without PM”s screaming & tearing up. I also knew that she would probably show up sometime just to check on us. If things got snippy or ugly with PM in any way, I had decided to “vote with my feets”.

We were happily working along, I was doing all kinds of stuff I hadn’t been “allowed” to before & there was another new girl there too. Even the Big Boss Man had wandered in & was checking out the scene.  Sure enough, here comes the PM. She sees what we’re doing & tries to tear up that I’m “doing it wrong” but M steps in & calmly says “no, it’s ok”. PM sputters something, having to have the last word. I kept my head down & bubble wrapped the hell out of some pottery, then peanuted a box within an inch of it’s life. I taped that thing together. Then I started an intense conversation with a customer over a prayer shawl she was shipping. She made it & it was beautiful. I was silently wishing I could stick my head under it & hide. PM was shooting daggers & I could see her face getting all red & mad at me. I knew Monday, if there was one for me, would be hell to pay. I thought I’d wait until she left & then tell BBM that I couldn’t be there anymore.

PM had pulled her truck around to the front & was going to load a piece of furniture into it. I went out to help her, we lifted it in & bungeed everything down. I went back inside. When I looked back around she had pulled her truck into a parking spot & BBM was out there talking to her. They talked awhile. When I looked back out they were gone.

Long story short, BBM came in the back door & told us he had just fired her.

this is what my ever lovin man fixed me for breakfast this morning (that’s his handmade red) & last night he bought “us” a whole bag of Dove chocolates. life is good.

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November 19, 2010

sorry is as sorry does

by badmammy

“I’m sorry. I was being selfish.”

I heard the words come out of my mouth & realized in a flash that I had indeed been acting selfishly, selfish in a way that must stop. It’s not that I throw sorries around right & left without thinking about it, it’s that it was hard to admit, I meant it & knew as I said the words just how true they were. It just hadn’t hit me until then.

Oh sure, blah, blah, blah, I’ve been swimming upstream at my new job, trying to learn something complicated. Being Postal is a lot of work. (new job is at a postal place, mail boxes, shipping, packing, etc) The job is physical, which I am not used to. It is amazing how out of shape one can get lying around the house playing farmtown on the laptop. The job is also mentally hard, lots of numbers, forms, weights, meters,  . . . . . . numbers! Ah, numbers, my strong suit, NOT! There is also a strong element of drama going on between the other employees that I state over & over again I do not want to participate in. I will not carry tales & I will not spy. It pisses them off. Too bad.

Here comes the old “be careful what you wish for”, I know. I did want a challenge. I do need a job, I asked the universe for this. But, dang, at what cost?

I like my job but I get tired. I hurt all over sometimes. All I want to do is crawl in bed with a book & my doggie & cover my head.

That’s all fine & dandy. But it has been going on too long. I have to ask myself some hard questions. Have I been using my difficulties at work as a shield to hide behind? Have I used this trouble to give me something to focus on while I deny facing the reality of losing a friend & watching loved ones suffer their own illnesses? Why am I letting it drag me down? I have to admit that I’m not near as physically tired as I was when I first started. The mental part really pulls me down, tho. Has dragging home & limping to bed become a habit? Since when have I become someone who puts up with shit over a part-time job? Does my failure to catch on as fast as I am used to learning new things mean that I’m getting old & it’s the menopausal brain shutting down? Is my failure to grasp the difference between priority & express just my brains way of encouraging my feets to run?

How long do I endure a frustrating situation before I hear my mother’s voice, “well, girl, you must like it. You keep runnin back for more”?

So, yes, I have let a crappy situation come between me & my life.

Thank God I have good friends, family & a wonderful support system. I’m hard on them at times, I know. I haven’t shown up, I haven’t called very often. That’s just wrong of me, work drama or no work drama.

So, this morning as I sit here counting my blessings & reflecting on the goodness in my life, number one is gratitude & appreciation for a friend who cares enough about me to tell me bout myself when I caused her unnecessary worry & concern at a time when I really, really shouldn’t have.

Toothfairy, I love you.

November 9, 2010

this is cool

by badmammy

this is cool!