Archive for May, 2009

May 31, 2009

here kitty kitty

by badmammy

The place where I work was broken into last weekend. Nothing was taken but a big window was broken. Between the time of the breakage & its discovery, a cat decided to take up residence in our building. Boss Man could hear him meowing but couldn’t catch him so he opened all of the doors & tried to herd him out. It didn’t work.  This went on for three days. Frustration set in & the search was called off. On Thursday I was there by myself & told to try to catch the cat.


I don’t know much but I do know that cats really don’t like it when you chase them or try to trap them. I was not looking forward to the cat fight. Not only are they loud, they are dangerous to the catcher when the catchee does not want to be caught. I’ve got scars. I told Boss Man that tomorrow I would bring some food & chum the cat out of hiding. I don’t have a cat at this point in my life (which is unusual) but usually have canned cat food on hand to feed the turtles. Since it was springtime & the turtles would be out soon, I had just stocked up.


After a little while Boss Man shows up with a couple of bags of Whisker Lickers. We fixed up Kitty with a bowl of food & a bowl of water in the back room where he had last been seen. He’d been locked in for a several days now & had to be real hungry. We felt a little better knowing that at least he would have some food. He had been getting water out of the toilet. We knew that because there were kitty paw prints on the seat every morning. Boss Man left.


Later in the afternoon, I sat at the desk playing solitaire (yeah, I know . . .) & listening to some new tunes I had downloaded. Naturally, I was singing along. I am known far & wide for my singing. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket but know every word of every song ever written (almost) & don’t let my lack of talent keep me from wailing along with the music. My singing has often been compared to cats fighting or screeching tires but I sing on, undeterred. I am a nightmare around a campfire. I love to sing.


In between verses I heard a noise. I looked down the hall & saw a black, fuzzy kitty head peeking around the corner. The instant our eyes locked, I thought “dang, Joyce has sent me a cat”. I said hello to him & he meowed back, probably telling me to pipe down on that singing. I didn’t move but turned the music off. After a few exchanges Kitty ran back into the darkness of the back room. I got up slowly & moved the kitty food to the spot where he had just stood. I sat down at the desk. I peeked back around the corner & saw Kitty scarfing down the Whisker Lickers. 



sidebar: Joyce is my very wonderful, funny, dearest friend who lives in NEWYORKCITY. (isn’t that the coolest?) She is a black cat fanatic. She has 4 of them along with tons of black cat related art & stuff in her apartment. She dresses up as a black cat for Mardi Gras parades. Her e-mail address contains the words black cat. Her cell phone voice mail says “scat, scat, said the black cat” instead of the usual about how my party can’t be reached. She draws little black cats on everything. Like I said, she’s a real black cat person.



I had decided that Kitty would have to come to me, that I wouldn’t chase him. He meowed & began to walk towards me. I stayed still but put my hand down closer to the floor & kept talking to him. Slowly, slowly, he neared my hand & sniffed. After a bit I scratched the top of his head. Oh boy, he loved that. It wasn’t long until he was in my lap “making bread” on my thigh & rolling over so that I could rub his belly. Before I knew it, I was covered in black cat hair & my hands were filthy from petting him. I cleaned up & gave him a little more food. Pretty soon he was lying by my feet, purring. I went back to my solitaire & singing.


I called Boss Man to report that kitty had come out of hiding. He told me to put a bowl of water & food  out by the back door & put the cat out. And, that’s when it happened. Yep. I lied. I said that kitty had gone back to his hidey hole & if I saw him again I would put him out. If not, then I would put him out the next morning.


I put out extra Whisker Lickers & went home.


That evening I was telling Big Daddy about my day with Kitty. I said I couldn’t believe I didn’t just take him home. Big Daddy  asked why I hadn’t & I replied “cuz I thought you’d have a fit”. Big Daddy laughed & says “since when has that ever stopped you?” Then we went over the many reasons we did not need another pet around the house to feed & care for. Yeah, I sighed. You’re right.



Friday morning when I opened up the store I called Kitty. He answered right away & came running. He hopped up on the desk & laid down on top of the newspaper I was trying to read. I looked for the lost & found pets & didn’t see any missing black cats.


He was so filthy. He was gross to touch. I took paper towels, moistened them & gave that cat the rub down of his life. He loved it.  He rolled & purred while I went through a lot of paper towels. When I finished, he sat up & started to groom himself & I’m back to thinking about having to put him out.


I went to the back door & opened it. Kitty walked out & sat in the sunshine. I stepped back in to fetch his food & water to put out there with him & he peeled back into the store. Oh well, I told myself, I’ve got all day to get this done.


Kitty & I hung out for awhile then he laid down by my feet & took a little siesta. My brother rolls by to say howdy & says “what’s up with the cat?” I tell him the whole sad story. Being the big hearted softy that he is, Bro tells me to just open the back door & fling the cat out. Just like that. Done. What’s all the drama about? If you need me to, I’ll put that cat out of here for you.


No thanks. This is my job to do. I twisted up my nerves, got the cat & put him out. As I was closing the door, I said “Ok little kitty, go back to your people”. I thought to myself, if this was meant to be, if that cat comes around to the front door & dings the bell, that will settle it. Kitty will go home with me. But If he has someone who loves him somewhere, I hope he goes home. There aren’t any houses near here but an apartment backs up to our alley. Maybe he lives there.


I go back inside & carry on with my day. About an hour later (maybe not even) I was talking on the phone to my friend (yes, yes, I know. . . I have the greatest job ever!) & looking out toward the street. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something. I stood up to get a better look & I swear to God, there was Kitty up on his back legs scratching on the front door. I screeched “My cat!” & hung up on my friend. I opened the front door & Kitty raced in. He had adopted me.


Of course, even though I was not going to keep Kitty, another of my friends & I had talked about it the night before & decided that Kitty needed a name. It had to be just right. Since I work at a fireplace store & Kitty was black we were trying to come up with a sort of theme name. Maybe Smokey or Sooty. Something like that. After a lot of laughing, we hit on one we liked. I knew better than to give Kitty a name.


At quittin’ time, I gathered up the Whisker Lickers & Kitty & headed towards home. Cats don’t generally like to ride in cars & Kitty was no exception. He sat on the dashboard complaining. Man, was he complaining! Then he got up in the back window & complained some more. I cranked the radio & drove on, singin’.


At home I unloaded the car bringing Kitty in on my last trip. I put him on the floor. He walked around a bit, eyeing the place, then fluffed his tail as if to say “this’ll do.” He jumped into a big chair, circled a few times & laid down.


So, in the words of Ty on Extreme Makeover, I said “Welcome home, Chim Chimney, welcome home”.


two queens


Uno, the wonder dog, came running in, all happy & saying hello. Then she spied the cat. I dog sit a lot of little dogs & am always bringing home something but Uno has never seen a cat. This obviously was not another little doggie but something entirely different indeed. Chim Chimney introduced himself to Uno, convinced Uno to give him some space & relocated under the bed.


 By the way, Chim Chimney is a girl. A week later you would never guess that Chim had not been the Queen of our house for very long. She has all of us trained, Uno included. She jumps up on whatever she wants to, sleeps where she wants, meows to let us know that she needs to go out or come in. She lets Uno sniff her. They are settling into a nice relationship. Chim walks under Uno’s legs & flips her tail. They both get hysterical when somebody goes into the kitchen.



ChimChiminey is home.


queenie on her throne