Archive for January, 2010

January 24, 2010

pants on fire

by badmammy

When is it a lie? The instant any type of sound leaves your lips? Can you ever justify an untruth or even an omission of facts? Does the type of lie matter? Does the little white lie count? Why/Why Not? Are lies that are told for someones “own good” really good? And good for who, by the way; you or them? Those harmless half truths we spit out all day being polite, not really seeing any advantgage to being totally truthful, are they really harmless?  Saying “fine” when all you really want to do is cry when you see a neighbor & they ask how you’re doing. Is that a lie or just what we are expected to say? Everybody knows that they are not asking for a long drawn out truth.

Are some people more “lie-able” to than others? Why would we lie the most to those we  are closest to & tell perfect strangers the truth? Something to do with our emotional investment in the relationship, I would imagine. This perfect stranger will never be seen or spoken to again, most likely. We do not fear their judgement. I know that I have different emotions & reasons for all the lies I’ve told & who I’ve told them to. Some I care about & some I don’t ever think about again. Some I have confessed to, will admit if asked & others I will go to my grave maintaining my innocence about.

Do you believe in black & white rules? Do gray zones exist? Who gets to decide this? One of Us? All of us? Every liar for themselves?

Again, are some rules or lies more impotyant (hahahah, I’m gonna have to leave this typo) than others? There are tons of kinds of lies. Like snowflakes, each lie has a reason & no two alike. Even when they all start to sound the same. I mean, even I know that when they start repeating like a skipping record, whatever you got to say or do to get rid of that particular snowflake is just fine & flat out encouraged. That many lies is plain wrong.

Tags: ,
January 22, 2010

this is only a test . . . . . . .

by badmammy

I am sure that we can all agree that I am by no means a big headed genius. I did ok in high school, but that’s all, ok. I had subjects I loved & did very well in & courses that I hated & did crappy in. I would come home with As in subjects like Creative Writing, English or Art and Cs & Ds in Math, Science & PE. My Mother would sign off on the report cards telling me that girls weren’t good at algebra or history, anyway. I had no clue about the advantages of education. I did not know how to study & rarely did. I just did not get it. None of my trips to the “library” involved books. I guess it all averaged out because, somehow, I got into an out of state college. Once I found out that the professors didn’t care whether you went to class or not, well, let’s just say I flunked out in a red hot hurry. I like to joke around & say that I went to college for one year & wound up with 10 hours credit & a baby. That baby was the best thing that has ever happened to me. You could say that my first year of college gave me an education that money can’t buy & tutors can’t teach.

Despite my stellar grade point average, I’ve always loved tests. I love puzzles, word problems, crosswords & stuff other folks can’t figure out. I relish reconciling checkbooks, untangling knots & finding Waldo. I always did fantastic on the standardized tests we had in school or on aptitude tests. I’ve never considered myself a competitive person, didn’t play sports or join any clubs. I’d describe myself as basically easy going & happy, but let somebody break out the trivial pursuit & all bets are off!! I turn into an aggressive killer. I didn’t know I had it in me. At first it kind of surprised me to find myself wanting to kick ass but the feelings have grown on me. Now that a lot of my friends have a Wii, I have learned to love whipping up via video games as well.

When I went back to school years later I discovered the joy of learning & got a lot of satisfaction out of working for & getting good grades. I still remember how thrilled I was when I found out that if you get really, really good grades you can find someone else to pay for your schooling. I had gone to my advisor with the news that I couldn’t attend next semester due to lack of funds. He pulled a folder out of a desk drawer & found me a couple of grants. I didn’t even have to pay it back! Bring on more tests!

It was in this spirit that I decided to apply to work for the 2010 census. The first step is taking the test. Oh boy! Big Daddy was going to apply also & downloaded us the practice tests, something I would never had done. We both took the test, timing ourselves, & neither one did too hot. It’s been a long time since either of us had worked those particular muscles. We looked back over the tests, determined what we had missed then headed to our appointment at our local library. We sat there in a roomful of like minded folks with our tests turned face down & our #2 pencils at the ready. Flashback! The only thing missing was the smell of paper bags with peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in them.

When it was all over we hung around as the “teacher” graded our tests. Only two of us passed, another woman & ME!!! And I beat her by 2 points. I strutted out of that library like I had just stepped off of the Olympic podium while the band played my national anthem. I tried to tone it down a little because BD hadn’t passed. Once we got home & while I was perfecting my “queen wave” for the parade I had to admit & say out loud that if it hadn’t been for BD downloading the practice test, I probably wouldn’t have passed.

That’s the kind of man he is; methodical and steady while I zoom around the atmosphere. He went back 2 nights later & passed, of course. I’m no smarter than he is. I’m not even “smarter than the average bear, BooBoo”. I just love to take tests.

Tags: ,