open letter to jerry seinfield

by badmammy

Dear Jerry Seinfield,

About the upcoming new show, the marriage refs . . . . .  I write to you out of love & concern for Kelly Ripa. That girl has almost as many jobs as Al Roker. She also has a preteen child. She needs to spend more time at home. Trust me, I’ve raised a kid. Mostly on my own & with no money. Surely, between her & her husband’s various enterprises, they do all right. I say give the girl a rest & hire me. I’m as opinionated as anyone you’ll ever meet. I specialize in unsolicited advice but also give great counsel when asked. I keep secrets.  I know I’m a little older than Kelly & will never, ever have arms like hers, but perhaps that is exactly what you need . . . . . some one who has been divorced twice, fell madly in love with the wrong soul mate more than a few times, was needy & crazy & worked through it, attended to both my parents deaths. I’ve certainly got a different perspective on life, love & loss than I did when I was young. I was opinionated then, too. I’ve got some gray hair now that I refuse to color. I earned them. I tell my son his name is on each one, but will privately admit to putting some of there myself with my own behavior (but not in front of the kid).

Anyway, let me know so I can start working out.

BadMammy

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