Archive for November, 2010

November 25, 2010

thankful

by badmammy

A couple of calm, nice, busy days at work & 24 hrs in the bed, tossin, coughin & moanin, later, I am reborn.

November 21, 2010

just 24 little hours

by badmammy

What a difference a day makes. . . . . I had asked myself a lot of questions & realized I needed to make peace with the insanity of my job or quit. I went in on Saturday to get some extra practice & schoolin before THE RUSH begins on Black Friday. Saturday was the Postal Mgr’s day off & I could work with M, who happens to be very good at teaching. I knew it would be easier there for me without PM”s screaming & tearing up. I also knew that she would probably show up sometime just to check on us. If things got snippy or ugly with PM in any way, I had decided to “vote with my feets”.

We were happily working along, I was doing all kinds of stuff I hadn’t been “allowed” to before & there was another new girl there too. Even the Big Boss Man had wandered in & was checking out the scene.  Sure enough, here comes the PM. She sees what we’re doing & tries to tear up that I’m “doing it wrong” but M steps in & calmly says “no, it’s ok”. PM sputters something, having to have the last word. I kept my head down & bubble wrapped the hell out of some pottery, then peanuted a box within an inch of it’s life. I taped that thing together. Then I started an intense conversation with a customer over a prayer shawl she was shipping. She made it & it was beautiful. I was silently wishing I could stick my head under it & hide. PM was shooting daggers & I could see her face getting all red & mad at me. I knew Monday, if there was one for me, would be hell to pay. I thought I’d wait until she left & then tell BBM that I couldn’t be there anymore.

PM had pulled her truck around to the front & was going to load a piece of furniture into it. I went out to help her, we lifted it in & bungeed everything down. I went back inside. When I looked back around she had pulled her truck into a parking spot & BBM was out there talking to her. They talked awhile. When I looked back out they were gone.

Long story short, BBM came in the back door & told us he had just fired her.

this is what my ever lovin man fixed me for breakfast this morning (that’s his handmade red) & last night he bought “us” a whole bag of Dove chocolates. life is good.

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November 19, 2010

sorry is as sorry does

by badmammy

“I’m sorry. I was being selfish.”

I heard the words come out of my mouth & realized in a flash that I had indeed been acting selfishly, selfish in a way that must stop. It’s not that I throw sorries around right & left without thinking about it, it’s that it was hard to admit, I meant it & knew as I said the words just how true they were. It just hadn’t hit me until then.

Oh sure, blah, blah, blah, I’ve been swimming upstream at my new job, trying to learn something complicated. Being Postal is a lot of work. (new job is at a postal place, mail boxes, shipping, packing, etc) The job is physical, which I am not used to. It is amazing how out of shape one can get lying around the house playing farmtown on the laptop. The job is also mentally hard, lots of numbers, forms, weights, meters,  . . . . . . numbers! Ah, numbers, my strong suit, NOT! There is also a strong element of drama going on between the other employees that I state over & over again I do not want to participate in. I will not carry tales & I will not spy. It pisses them off. Too bad.

Here comes the old “be careful what you wish for”, I know. I did want a challenge. I do need a job, I asked the universe for this. But, dang, at what cost?

I like my job but I get tired. I hurt all over sometimes. All I want to do is crawl in bed with a book & my doggie & cover my head.

That’s all fine & dandy. But it has been going on too long. I have to ask myself some hard questions. Have I been using my difficulties at work as a shield to hide behind? Have I used this trouble to give me something to focus on while I deny facing the reality of losing a friend & watching loved ones suffer their own illnesses? Why am I letting it drag me down? I have to admit that I’m not near as physically tired as I was when I first started. The mental part really pulls me down, tho. Has dragging home & limping to bed become a habit? Since when have I become someone who puts up with shit over a part-time job? Does my failure to catch on as fast as I am used to learning new things mean that I’m getting old & it’s the menopausal brain shutting down? Is my failure to grasp the difference between priority & express just my brains way of encouraging my feets to run?

How long do I endure a frustrating situation before I hear my mother’s voice, “well, girl, you must like it. You keep runnin back for more”?

So, yes, I have let a crappy situation come between me & my life.

Thank God I have good friends, family & a wonderful support system. I’m hard on them at times, I know. I haven’t shown up, I haven’t called very often. That’s just wrong of me, work drama or no work drama.

So, this morning as I sit here counting my blessings & reflecting on the goodness in my life, number one is gratitude & appreciation for a friend who cares enough about me to tell me bout myself when I caused her unnecessary worry & concern at a time when I really, really shouldn’t have.

Toothfairy, I love you.

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November 9, 2010

this is cool

by badmammy

this is cool!

November 9, 2010

Typographic Animation: Think About It (via Open Your Eyes, Your Mind Will Follow)

by badmammy

this is cool

Take a moment and think about it. How often do you catch yourself saying "like" or ending what should be a firm declaration with "ya know?" or "right?" What has happened to our conviction? I know that I was challenged by this video to attempt to go through a day without saying "like." It encouraged me to firmly say what I had to say, without always worrying I wouldn' … Read More

via Open Your Eyes, Your Mind Will Follow

November 7, 2010

I want to bitch slap a kid

by badmammy

I want to bitch slap a kid. Not that I would and the kid’s not real anyway, so simmer down.

There’s a commercial on tv that drives me wild. In it a very cute curly headed little junior goes on & on about a minivan. At the end he declares his parents are “lame” due to which van they choose to drive. I can’t be the only one who “fails” this commercial. I most decidedly do not want to rush out & buy one of these vans after being called lame. Who is this little bully & why does he feel that a brand of vehicle makes us who & what we are? Why would someone so young even care? This leads me into a rant about the values & mores of the world today & how sick & sad all that is. You know, the old what’s this world comin to??? I’m gonna stop myself right here.

I must be feeling a little old & threatened or shakey because something as meaningless & banal as a tv commercial usually wouldn’t have the power to bug me. I can’t help it, though. I want to get out the clippers & shave that little punk’s head. It’s all his fault that I turn into a grouchy old woman complaining about rudeness, manners & what’s wrong with these people.

Sure, I understand the kid is a child actor playing a role, saying words written for him by someone else, chosen precisely because of that hair. And he is awful cute. I bear him no ill will. I wish I had that hair. And I get it that the folks who came up with the concept for this commercial are doing their jobs & that they have succeeded because, good or bad, here I am discussing & cussing it. I noticed it. That is their goal.

But, who are they, the ad folks? Young graduates starting a career, dealing with demographics, focus groups & all that fancy stuff? Did all of the work & effort of more than one committee & endless meetings come to the conclusion that rudeness was cute? Yeah, they did. Maybe it is cute to them. Precocious children have always been used to sell us tons of crap we don’t need & I admit, most of the time they don’t bug me so much. I know tv isn’t real, not even the reality shows, & that’s a large part of why I love it.

Obviously it is time to put on some shoes & go outside, look up at the most beautiful sky ever & play with the doggie. . . . time to get over my damn self.

 

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