Archive for ‘Uncategorized’

August 8, 2015

mr and mrs dick

by badmammy

mr dick
this morning, Saturday, August 8th, 2015, mr dick came in with the worst looking beat up box I have ever seen. he wanted to know what I was going to do about it. he had a prepaid label. I thought he was joking, he never took off his sunglasses. he told me that now that he had gotten older he is excellent at reading people & that I looked like I didn’t want to help him. I said you are not reading me correctly. he said oh yes he was. he told me that his 65 lb piece of shit box was not handled correctly & what was I gonna do about it. I finally said it was not packed correctly, he should have contacted the sender to have an inspection initiated, he said he did call them, they told him it was packed well & the problem was that it was handled badly. I said that large pieces of metal (hitches) loose in a box is not well packed and will ruin the box from the inside out. he had a prepaid label & I told him that I’d be glad to put the label on the box & ship it but the box will not make it. he started in again about how I had no sense of customer service & didn’t want to help him. I said he should go somewhere else. he said he wanted a solution. I said buy another box & I will pack this box in it, that’s all I know to suggest. “oh, so now you expect me to buy a box?” I said I’m not going to give you one and again suggested he go somewhere else. 

about this time several customers came it, one asked me what was going on. mr dick proceeded to tell her that I had no customer service skills & was not helping him. she thought he was joking too & asked me if I knew him. I said I did not. she told him he he’s got to be kidding, I was one of the nicest women he would ever meet. he doubted it. I said I’ve got customers backing up that I need to help, he hollered he was a customer..I said what do you want. he said a solution. I said buy another box & I’ll pack it for you. one customer left. he said how would he know if I did it or not. I said if you want to stay around and watch me pack it, he was welcome to but it would be awhile cuz I had other customers. he said some other rude loud shit that I don’t really remember. I rang up the box & told him the total. he swiped his card & left, saying now your day can only get better. I thought no shit but said nothing. the two remaining customers said oh my god what an asshole. I can’t believe you didn’t lose your temper, I would have cussed him out, etc. I tried to shake it off, consoling myself it will be ok. I packed his pos into another box with peanuts & heavy stickers the way it should have been.
about 30 minutes mrs dick called wanting my manager or the owner, I said not here. how can I get ahold of her? call when she’s here, prob Mon afternoon, she’s in & out. what’s her email? store3554. . . . . . . , is that an email anyone there can read? yes. I want her private email. I’m not givin out her private info, you might as well send that email here cuz everyone’s gonna read it anyway. I AM NOT GOING TO DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU. I said, (ok, I went to the dark side at this point) whatever. she said she wanted to know why I was so rude to her husband. I said you weren’t here, maybe he was rude to me. she said oh no, not my husband. I said I will be glad to take your number & have her call you. so she gave me the number & I hung up. a few minutes she called back to say she didn’t appreciate being hung up on, I said I was sorry. I’ll have kim call you. bye. and hung up again.
twenty seven minutes later mrs dick called back. she wanted to know I expected them to be reimbursed if I wouldnt give them a receipt . I said its right here, he left without it. pause. can you just email it to me. sure, what’s the email address, she told me, I said, ok. bye. hung up.
I emailed the receipt.
I believe those two are perfect for each other and aptly named,

cathyray

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April 6, 2014

my hair went electric

by badmammy

20140406-124706.jpg

January 8, 2012

us, unplugged

by badmammy

Since I’ve hauled off & announced the event on fb, it must be official . . . . . BigDaddy & I have decided to cancel our cable tv. I am so addicted to my tv that I get a little woozy just typing those words. All the more reason I will do this, must do this. I’m doin awright so far, but it is still on for awhile so we shall see. I have a feeling that we are all bombarded with so much information all day from so many angles that I won’t feel too deprived & besides, we’ll still get the “regular” channels. I’ll still get to discuss American Idol or DWTS with the customers.

November 25, 2010

thankful

by badmammy

A couple of calm, nice, busy days at work & 24 hrs in the bed, tossin, coughin & moanin, later, I am reborn.

November 9, 2010

this is cool

by badmammy

this is cool!

November 9, 2010

Typographic Animation: Think About It (via Open Your Eyes, Your Mind Will Follow)

by badmammy

this is cool

Take a moment and think about it. How often do you catch yourself saying "like" or ending what should be a firm declaration with "ya know?" or "right?" What has happened to our conviction? I know that I was challenged by this video to attempt to go through a day without saying "like." It encouraged me to firmly say what I had to say, without always worrying I wouldn' … Read More

via Open Your Eyes, Your Mind Will Follow

February 21, 2010

still workin’ it

by badmammy

where are my Ruffles with Ridges?

and the beat goes on; the beat goes on . . . . . . We continue to march with that beat toward the future, hopefully, in better shape & able to go further. Left, right, left, right, hut! Moving more, stretching, all that good stuff. We’re still on the famous “diet”. Some folks take issue with this fad diet or that fad diet & indeed, I am one of them. I don’t think fads are going to work without you seriously changin your ways, once & for all. And, then, it’s not a fad. I’ve seen a lot of folks lose a lot of weight only to have it jump back on with a vengeance once the diet is over. You can’t go back to your old ways. God know, lots of us have tried & every single one failed. I also tried the “well, I’m working out so I can eat what I want” plan, which doesn’t work either.

Choosing a diet or meal plan takes an investment on your part to work. We looked at what we were eating. We cussed & discussed all that & came up with the realization that carbs are a major problem for us, and with me there is also severe sugar addiction. We decided to try a modified Atkins approach for at least the first two weeks then take it from there. I always have to throw in the modifier “modified” when saying Atkins. I was one of the loudest screechers when folks talked about Atkins. It obviously worked. I saw several folks shrink in what seemed like no time. True to form, I never researched exactly what it entailed; just immediately started in with “how can it be healthy to eat a side of beef for breakfast with hardly any fruits or veggies?” “Are you serious, you had pigskins for lunch?”. I was proud of them for doing something but, hey, I’m not THAT fat, right? Ah yes, all the shit we can tell ourselves. I mocked what I did not understand, thereby calling it straight into my life. I was also jealous that they were doing something I couldn’t. I just wouldn’t admit that part. But, the fact was, here was someone in front of me, doing something about their weight. Shame heaped on a few more pounds until both BD & I decided that something must be done so that we can live together & have fun longer. That brought on the first round of our proposed lifestyle changes; the two week diet challenge.

Almost three weeks later brings us to today. We bought the food, Big Daddy cooked, we ate. We started to feel good. The first couple of days were hard in that we had habits that made us reach for something we really didn’t need or didn’t contribute to our health. We toughed it through. But, dang, it took several days & a couple of boxes of “Atkins” bars for me to get over wanting to cry for some ice cream. Sugar free popsicles saved the day. They are a raggety substitute but they sorta work. When I hit the magic number goal that I set for myself, I am going to have some candy. I am one pound away. One pound away from a candy bar, chocolate. Have been for two days! I’m not one pound from a good weight for me, got a ways to go on that, but I am one pound away from a goal that looked far away at one time.

We’ve noticed lately that what once looked like a good start on a meal now looks like too much. I have lost some of my anxiety about food. I don’t feel the need to cram as much as I can into my mouth at once as often as I used to. I can leave some for the next bite. We’ve also noticed that we are chewing slower. We feel lighter. We’ve both lost some weight. I keep my water jug filled & take it everywhere. A cup of tea in the morning & water the rest of the time. Not even fruit juice. Not even Orangina!!

We like the way we are feeling & are still downloading new recipies. We are adding in more veggies & I’m eating a little fruit. We’re still going to stay with it. I feel like we’ve regained some control over our lives by controlling our eating. You know it’s never just one thing. We feel better, we do more, we’re more active, we feel better.

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February 10, 2010

still hangin in there

by badmammy

The diet? It’s going all right. We are sticking to it. It’s a “lifestyle change”, not just a diet. We’re well into the 2 week jump start without any cheats or falling off the wagon. (at least for BD. I ate cereal a couple of the first days of the program) I don’t know what happens next. A gradual reintroduction to carbs, I guess. Damn those carbs, anyway. It seems like the only foods I like are full of carbs. Even fruit & vegetables. I sure do miss my sweets. Even sugar free bubble gum has carbs.

We’ve been downloading recipes & buying only the groceries we need. The recipes are for two people. BD cooks it up, we split it & eat it. No big vats of spaghetti sauce for us. Just enough food for one meal. Eating just what we cook & not eating until I am stuffed has been hard for me.  Well, it has taken some getting used to. I was used to that packed out feeling. The Carbo Coma, one friend called it. Also, not grabbing a snack here & there is tough. It is just a matter of changing habits. We try to stay busy with other stuff. Being more active is a large part of the new master plan. It’s so easy to be a slug when it’s cold outside. BD is still working his stretch bands & I’m doing the doggie agility, plus actually trying to clean house more often. (HAH!) The other day some videos appeared. BD had been Goodwill Hunting again. They have titles like “Tae Bo”,  “Firm your ABs in 20 Minutes” &, my favorite, “Stretching for Seniors”. We watched Tae Bo just to see if it worked but haven’t stretched the seniors yet.

After watching Dr Oz on Oprah talk about sugar & what it does to our insides, I was scared to pieces. That plus the effect belly fat has on our health; strokes, diabetes, heart disease. Now that I’m a little older I am not feeling as bulletproof as I used to. It would be a shame to die of something preventable.

I know I always say either enjoy your bad habits or quit them. And enjoy my vices, I do. And obviously have. But some of these vices have begun to add up. And up. And up. So. it was time to give some of them a rest. Plus, being overweight is just plain uncomfortable.  Not fun anymore to drink & eat everything in sight. Hopefully, my taster buds are changing.

It’s also embarrassing to be fat. I try to be comfortable & secure within myself no matter what size I am. Yeah, yeah, it’’s what’s inside that counts. We all know that. But let’s face it, trying to cram your big ass into a little space in front of strangers is awful. Even worse in front of family & friends.

A friend of mine has recently put on some weight, enough to make me stifle a scream when I noticed. I was astounded but certainly didn’t want to say anything. No body needs to have it pointed out to them that they’ve gotten fat; they know. Trust me, they know. I had a lot to think about that day. What I was feeling must be similar to what my friends & family felt as they watched me balloon. I realized how much love I am surrounded by from folks that only want the best for me;  folks that love me enough to be supportive when I need it & butt out when I don’t. They loved me anyway. I know all of them would rather see me healthy but they left me alone. I also know that leaving  something like that alone is hard. When I wanted to talk about it, they listened. When I didn’t, they shut up.

For me, being overweight screams to the world that I’ve stopped caring about myself. The self love thing has been a tough one for me for as long as I can remember. I felt fat & ugly at 130 lbs & wouldn’t wear a swimsuit because someone might see my huge thighs. I feel more secure about myself now than I did when I was “young & beautiful”. That’s a weird feeling, tied to getting older, I imagine. Now I parade my self around & don’t even care. I finally discovered that we wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of us if we knew  how seldom they did. All those kids whose judgement I dreaded in High School felt just the same as I did, I have discovered. I would never do anything in front of anyone for fear of ridicule. No running in PE, as few oral book reports as possible, that kind of stuff. It was even sometimes hard to eat in front of people. I sure got over that one! Now I’m bowling. What a hoot.

November 7, 2009

older n’ dirt

by badmammy

I still find it hard to believe. I mean, I’m livin it but can’t quite get a grasp on the situation. I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer but I ain’t no butter knife, either. But I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around it, as they say these days. It’s everywhere I turn. I’ve seen it on the talk shows. I read it in the magazines. The billboards scream out all the things (procedures) you can do to not to show it. I can see it in the faces of everyone I love. Time. Time passing. Aging.

There, I’ve said it. Aging. Yeah, we’re all aging. All the time. Time is marching on. I accept this on a conceptual or abstract level. One day slides into the next & we don’t notice. There is no “ta-da” moment. There is nothing to point at & say this is it; yes, that was when it happened. A specific date & time. I understand philosophically that I am not at this instant the same person I was when I woke up & fed the dog this morning. That I will be older still before anybody reads this. That we will all be older this evening, tomorrow & the day after that.

On one of his birthdays someone asked my dad how he felt about being another year older. He said “it sure beats the alternative”. I suppose that’s true. Of course, if we have any religious beliefs or faith we know that death is nothing to fear. At least for me.

It has always been my intention to be an old woman. When I was a kid I somehow got it into my head that I would live to be 94. I was (& am) okay with that. I would be kindly, loved by many, living in my old house full of cats & cookies. Children would visit. I envisioned a gray braid, wrinkles & slightly stooped posture. I saw it all, right down to the old lady lace up shoes.

What I never, never ever did consider was the meantime, the space between youth & old age. I had no vision of the intervening years. No clue how to deal with the passing of time. How I would get to this gray braid never occurred to me. The process, I suppose you could call it. The big decline. A great big slide into real adulthood. A trip down the rabbit hole of life. Now I realize that it sneaks up on you.

And, that is exactly what has happened. I was grooving along, living & loving my life. Then one summer I found out that I couldn’t move rocks or dig in the garden the way I had the year before . I quit my yard & traded in grass for  rocks. Grocery bags were harder to carry & I detest shopping anyway. Dancing all night would make me achy the next day. I did dance on, though. Two Advils later, oh, haha, I must be getting old. Yeah, yeah, happens to the best of us. I laughed it off.

Then I began to notice real changes. I would look in the mirror & not recognize myself. Who was that old woman & where did I go? I cried. What happened to my hair? Where did that other hair come from? At a stop light I would glance at the steering wheel & see my mother’s hands. When did that happen? I heard myself saying things I never dreamed I’d say. It was as if my parents or somebody older had invaded my head & spoke for me.

What I underestimated or forgot to consider at all was the feelings of being old, of becoming that way. How to cope with the long, slow fading of ability & agility, the gradual graying, the happy laugh lines becoming canyons. The total feeling of disconnect from the world. Looking around our youth obsessed country we are suddenly shocked to realize that we are no longer the demographic the ads are selling to. After years of being the largest & most influential generation, now ads that are geared to someone my age contain words like erectile disfunction, better digestion, incontinence, tighter sticking dentures & everybody’s favorite for greater mobility, the hoveround.

Nobody wants to grow old. Accepting the inevitable, we plow ahead. Denial becomes our friend. We just pretend that we are still vital & attractive. We can have our wrinkles filled in, our foreheads paralyzed, fat sucked out of our guts & buy bigger boobs, butts, calves & arms. Our eyesight is corrected with lasers. We can have chin hairs permanently removed & makeup tattooed on. We drive to the gym to work out & retain our girlish figures. There are pills for our sagging libidos. We color our hair & have highlights & lowlights put in. We can even order more hair from Asia & have it woven onto our heads. We have our teeth capped or bleached for that bright white great big smile. As Dolly Parton has said “if it can be sucked, plucked or tucked, I’ve done it”. There seems to be no end of “cures”.

But, is there a cure? Should we seek the fountain of youth? Is growing old something we can deny? For how long? Why do we continue to deny it? Aging is part of the natural order. I heard on the news the other day that our children will likely live to be over 100. I’m not sure I want to be 100. Certainly not if I can’t get around. Although it might be cool to have a CG 3-D Willard Scott announce the big birthday on the Never Ending Today Network.

Actually. I like being older. I have survived so many broken hearts, hurt feelings, missed deadlines & dead batteries that things like that are not that big of a deal any more. I lived through both of my parents deaths. Despite that pain, I know that whatever happens, I will survive. It doesn’t lessen the hurts of daily life but I will survive. I pray for grace to withstand the onslaught. I pray for strength to keep going & guidance along the way. I credit my sense of humor with getting me this far. I pray to keep it.

I used to say “of all the things I’ve loved & lost, I miss my waist the most.” I have no illusions of being the same as I was at 20, but give a girl a break. I do my best with the weight thing. I try not to overeat or tear into the candy but it sure is hard. Goes on easy; comes off hard. I used to be able to shake off the extra pounds. Not anymore. No. Not anymore.

There is one thing that bugs me worse than the loss of my waist and that is my loss of cool. That was the one thing I did notice had (seemingly) dissappeared overnight. It hit me like the proverbial lightening bolt. I was so used to being cool that I took it for granted. It was something that I took great pride in. No matter what age I was, I was cool. Then, in a store, I would catch the sidelong glance of some punk looking at me like I was old & impeding his day. The shop clerks would call me “hon”. In the screaming florscent lighting of a department store I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I wanted to screech out loud “wait a dang minute, I am cool here. I am so cool. I was cool before you even thought about it. Don’t be lookin at me like that. I am cool. You hear me? COOL!!” I didn’t tho. I picked up my packages, told them to have a good one & strolled away. I had to laugh at myself. Yeah, I’m cool like that.

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April 27, 2009

lost family

by badmammy

There are large chunks of my childhood that I don’t remember. I’ve had folks (professionals & friends) tell me that I need to remember these things so that I can examine them & move forward. I say what’s so great about moving forward. I’m moving forward just fine without digging up a bunch of shit. It was a long time ago, maybe I’ve forgotten them for a reason. I lived them, no need to go there again. I believe I have learned whatever the lesson was & no sense beatin a dead dog. 

 

Why is family so important to me? I remember a card my Mother wrote to me when I turned 13. I was in Texas with my Grandmother & sad/mad that I had been “ditched” on my birthday. In it she advised me that as long as I had the love of a family, life would be good. I also remember telling my son the whole time he was growing up that if a person didn’t have a family, no matter what else they had, their life would be lacking one of the essentials of happiness. (I’m pretty sure my exact words were” if you ain’t got family, you ain’t got shit”) I also told him that you can be born to a family but you can also create your own. Either way, we need these folks. It has always puzzled me that I came from such a fightin, chaotic, messed up family yet I value them so highly.

 

My parents are gone &, somehow, I feel closer to them now. I was so incredibly blessed to have resolved all my issues with each of them before they died. I feel the loss of them every day & am happy to have them in my hearts. I carry on regular conversations these days which I never would have dared to while they were alive. I used to hate them so. I knew I loved them underneath all that anger & rage but also knew it was way, way, way down deep.

 

From the day Dad brought the first one home from the hospital, I was in charge of the brothers. Eventually there would be three. I hid in the carport behind the huge station wagon & cried like a baby when Dad came home to announce the third brother. I wanted a sister so bad. I got over it as soon as Mom brought him home. He was my baby doll. I took care of him. I took care of everybody.

 

I  grieve the loss of two brothers. They are still alive but lost to me for complex reasons of their own. I understand the reasoning of one of them (mostly circumstantial) but the other leaves me completely bewildered. I have written him, called him, cried, asked him what can we do to resolve whatever it is that is wrong. His reply is “nothing”. His two daughters are so precious to me & we were such good friends. The pain I have experienced over the girls cannot be described. I have lost time with them & nothing can bring that back. The hope I cling to is that they will soon be adults & maybe then I can restore our relationships. I fear that the girls have no understanding of why I suddenly dropped out (was kicked out) of their lives &  are resentful or angry towards me. I’ll do what I can towards having them back in my life but will mainly (as always) consider what is best for them. They are surrounded by a ton of loving cousins, aunties & uncles on their Mother’s side  of the family. They did not need the drama of me insisting to remain active in their lives. They also live in another state & that made seeing them a problem. Besides, the invitations to graduations, etc that I got arrived after the event. I’ll throw out an opening & let each know that I am always here for them. After that, it will be their choice & I will abide.

 

I’ve learned to live with these losses. They don’t keep me from a happy life. I have the best life, filled with laughter & love. My heart is still full of love for the folks no longer with me. I fancy that the old gospel songs are right & we will all gather together again in the sweet bye & bye.