Posts tagged ‘#2 pencil’

April 16, 2010

found doggie girl

by badmammy

So, I’m driving along, happy as can be, headed for a haircut. Everybody knows how good a girl can feel headed for an appointment with her favorite stylieeest. It’s a glorious relationship, equal to none other. A relationship cultivated over years, often outlasting marriages. It’s the one appointment that we don’t cancel. No way. Not the hair.

And my day gets even better. The sun is shining, the sky is blue & I am wearing, comfortably wearing, a size smaller jeans that are so old style they are back in. I am breathing, too. Stylin n’ breathin. AND, after the haircut I was meeting Big Daddy & the Tooth Fairy for tacos at Juan’s. Dang! I love my life.

Lah de dah down the road. Here comes a brown doggie across the street, chasing a butterfly. Oh, isn’t that cute? I think, then realize there is a dog standing in front of my car, looking me in the eye on one of our fair city’s major arteries. I stop the car & open my door. Hey baby doggie girl. . . what you doing? She comes to me. I glance in the rearview mirror. The light has changed. A line of cars are rapidly coming towards us. I grab her collar (thinking thank god she’s got a collar on) & fling the dog across my lap into the passenger seat. This seems alright with her so I drive off.

I don’t see anyone chasing the doggie. I look for a while but haven’t got all day. Off we go to the stylieeest’s. I am early, of course, so Doggie Girl & I sit in the car sizing each other up. NO TAGS! DAMN. Nice dog, bright eyes, looking around, not freaked out. Ok. Hope I’m not begging for a “Turner & Hootch” on the interior of the SlugBug. I cracked the windows a couple of inches, parked in front of the door & went in. Let me squelch all of you right now, BD rarely asks anything of me so when he does I know it’s important. I do it. He can not abide dogs in cars in parking lots. It doesn’t bother me that much unless it’s hot out but he’s a real fanatic about it. So, I don’t do it. I drive home from the doggie park past the grocery store, drop Uno, go back to the store. Most of the time, anyway. It’s a pain in the butt. I do it cuz it’s the right thing to do & I dearly love that man.

Or so I thought. Love did not even slow me down. I didn’t even realize I had violated until we were on the way home. In my defence,  I did go to the window, cape & all, to check on her at one point during the haircut. DG was calmly sitting there in the passenger seat, looking around. All was good.

Back in the car, the only casualty was a box of kleenex. The seat was covered with kleenex but I never did find the box or even pieces of it. Still haven’t found it.

DG & I arrived home, met by BD & Uno. BD & I went into lost dog mode, taking pictures, making phone calls, uploading, posting, I made flyers. We drove back to the scene of the crime & papered it. Well, maybe papered is too strong of a word but we put out what we had time for. We raced by the vets for a chip check but DG ISN’T CHIPPED!! DAMN AGAIN.

We had to hurry & pick up the Yapper Sisters, two mini schnauzers that we doggie sit once in a while. Over the years, we’ve slowly gotten the sisters to agree that they don’t need to go into a screaming seizure every time somebody moves or makes a noise. Once one yapper makes the first yap, the other fires into attack mode not even knowing what’s happening. And then it’s on! It can get really loud. One of them can yip so high it feels like somebody stuck a sharpened #2 pencil into your ear drum.

It was a real fun rodeo introducing everyone to each other but eventually they calmed down & the butt sniffing began in earnest. After dinner, we all hung out for the evening & settled into our respective beds.

The night was, happily, uneventful. After breakfast I took the “big” dogs to the doggie park while the “little” ones stayed with BD.

Uno loves the park. She runs & bounces & runs. You can see her smiling. She gets her inner Rin-Tin-Tin on. She’s funny. DG wasn’t like that at all. She had to be coaxed into the park. She immediately put her head down & tucked her tail. I made reassuring noises & stayed closed enough to her that I could bust up any difference of opinion but remained calm & assertive. We walked around the edges of the dog park. After working with her for a few minutes, DG got to the point that she would come running when I called her. Of course, we don’t know her name & I’m NOT naming her so I just hollered “here girl”.

She goes crazy for affection & pets. I tried to give her a treat but she didn’t want it. After the other dogs gobbled theirs & were wanting more, she took one in her mouth but spit it on the floor where one of the others snatched it right up. After a few times of that she now gobbles them up like a good doggie. She has counter surfed once & pulled a roll of paper towels to the floor. She didn’t tear it up, though. I know she is a really good doggie & super smart.

So many folks have responded to our internet alerts. There’s lots of support from my Duke City Fix friends. This doggie is homeward bound.

January 22, 2010

this is only a test . . . . . . .

by badmammy

I am sure that we can all agree that I am by no means a big headed genius. I did ok in high school, but that’s all, ok. I had subjects I loved & did very well in & courses that I hated & did crappy in. I would come home with As in subjects like Creative Writing, English or Art and Cs & Ds in Math, Science & PE. My Mother would sign off on the report cards telling me that girls weren’t good at algebra or history, anyway. I had no clue about the advantages of education. I did not know how to study & rarely did. I just did not get it. None of my trips to the “library” involved books. I guess it all averaged out because, somehow, I got into an out of state college. Once I found out that the professors didn’t care whether you went to class or not, well, let’s just say I flunked out in a red hot hurry. I like to joke around & say that I went to college for one year & wound up with 10 hours credit & a baby. That baby was the best thing that has ever happened to me. You could say that my first year of college gave me an education that money can’t buy & tutors can’t teach.

Despite my stellar grade point average, I’ve always loved tests. I love puzzles, word problems, crosswords & stuff other folks can’t figure out. I relish reconciling checkbooks, untangling knots & finding Waldo. I always did fantastic on the standardized tests we had in school or on aptitude tests. I’ve never considered myself a competitive person, didn’t play sports or join any clubs. I’d describe myself as basically easy going & happy, but let somebody break out the trivial pursuit & all bets are off!! I turn into an aggressive killer. I didn’t know I had it in me. At first it kind of surprised me to find myself wanting to kick ass but the feelings have grown on me. Now that a lot of my friends have a Wii, I have learned to love whipping up via video games as well.

When I went back to school years later I discovered the joy of learning & got a lot of satisfaction out of working for & getting good grades. I still remember how thrilled I was when I found out that if you get really, really good grades you can find someone else to pay for your schooling. I had gone to my advisor with the news that I couldn’t attend next semester due to lack of funds. He pulled a folder out of a desk drawer & found me a couple of grants. I didn’t even have to pay it back! Bring on more tests!

It was in this spirit that I decided to apply to work for the 2010 census. The first step is taking the test. Oh boy! Big Daddy was going to apply also & downloaded us the practice tests, something I would never had done. We both took the test, timing ourselves, & neither one did too hot. It’s been a long time since either of us had worked those particular muscles. We looked back over the tests, determined what we had missed then headed to our appointment at our local library. We sat there in a roomful of like minded folks with our tests turned face down & our #2 pencils at the ready. Flashback! The only thing missing was the smell of paper bags with peanut butter & jelly sandwiches in them.

When it was all over we hung around as the “teacher” graded our tests. Only two of us passed, another woman & ME!!! And I beat her by 2 points. I strutted out of that library like I had just stepped off of the Olympic podium while the band played my national anthem. I tried to tone it down a little because BD hadn’t passed. Once we got home & while I was perfecting my “queen wave” for the parade I had to admit & say out loud that if it hadn’t been for BD downloading the practice test, I probably wouldn’t have passed.

That’s the kind of man he is; methodical and steady while I zoom around the atmosphere. He went back 2 nights later & passed, of course. I’m no smarter than he is. I’m not even “smarter than the average bear, BooBoo”. I just love to take tests.

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